


The Story of How we Grew Up

by Akf_sammy



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Bisexual Jensen, Confused Jensen, Depressed Jared, F/M, Gay Jared, Homophobic Jensen, Homophobic Language, Homophobic parenting, Jensen is a little shit, Kissing, Lots of kissing, M/M, Oblivious Jensen, Slow Build, Teen Angst, Teen Jared, Teen Jensen, Young Love, asshole Jensen, for a little bit - Freeform, little itty-bitty pinch of smut but mostly angst, long angsty story, lots of tags, switching pov's
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-08-19 05:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8192303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akf_sammy/pseuds/Akf_sammy
Summary: Don't hate me cause this story is gonna be realllyyyy sad :(I don't exactly have all the facts so if you notice something that isn't right just tell me in the comments and I'll try to fix it!This is my first story on this platform but not my first time writing. This is also my first story including homosexual characters and I apologize profusely if I mess anything up or say something in the wrong context :)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Don't hate me cause this story is gonna be realllyyyy sad :(  
> I don't exactly have all the facts so if you notice something that isn't right just tell me in the comments and I'll try to fix it!  
> This is my first story on this platform but not my first time writing. This is also my first story including homosexual characters and I apologize profusely if I mess anything up or say something in the wrong context :)

We never thought what we were doing was wrong. To us it was just friendship, like protection. The hand holding was always frowned upon and the cheek kisses were always deemed unnecessary but we did it anyway. In our young minds the hand holding was more like a partnership; a promise of always protecting the other. Cheek kisses were for healing and safety. No matter what we always had each other's back and that was unacceptable in the eyes of almost anyone.

When we got older, it became more clear that the healing and protecting had to become more secretive. We still held each other's hand in private and only kissed when absolutely necessary but for the most part we dialed it down. Daily hugs became weekly which eventually turned into monthly. Check ups and hangouts were scattered, usually becoming more of a study date instead of playing.

By age nine we had finally realized what was so wrong about our friendship. Touching and kisses were almost non-existent by grade six. We were seeing less of each other, which seemed like too big of a relief to our parents, and our once loving relationship was reduced to single conversations in the hallway. We made our own friends and slowly split apart.

In grade seven we don't even talk to each other. Even eye contact was avoided. The old photo journal was brought out once in awhile. All the pictures were of us holding, touching, or kissing and it was just weird to look at considering the state our friendship is in now. Even though the change was sudden, it was accepted but it's not like we had any say in the matter. 

It's not like _I_ wanted to end our friendship, our parents were more of the decision makers. We complied without hesitation. Even if our parents hadn’t declared that they wanted the friendship done it was wiser to split paths anyways.

Not that I like to admit it too anyone, or myself, but the touches and innocent cheek pecks became not so innocent. Chaste kisses on the cheek gravitated towards the lips and caring touches became caresses on body parts that wouldn't be normal to caress if we we're just friends. 

But I guess we weren't just friends. That title lost all meaning when compared to our relationship. I don't think either of us realized when we crossed that line into "more than friends" territory it just kind of...happened and I guess, being the way we we're, it didn't really make a difference. 

Sure, I purposefully bumped his shoulder with my textbook when passing him in the hall but I only did it just so I could say sorry, even though I was never saying sorry for the reason that he thought. Soon I was seeking him out on a daily basis for that one-word interaction with him. I was so desperate for some scrap of friendship from the boy I became pathetic. 

Then things got weird. I caught myself ogling at him from afar and lingering at his locker like I was lost. I always restrained myself from staring in the locker room but when I saw him across the street at home changing with his blinds open I was a lost cause. Now, I keep my blinds shut to resist the temptation. But there never was supposed to be a  _temptation._

I never realized when the sharp pinch in my chest grew whenever I saw him laughing with someone who wasn't me because I used to be the _only one_ who could make his spring grass eyes crinkle like that. I consistently feel like whenever he's not smiling it's all my fault. I shouldn't be feeling all these emotions whenever I see him but I constantly am and truthfully it's getting a little annoying. Like a little parasite at the back of my mind that wont go away.  _Is he happy? Is he smiling? Does he hate me? I wonder if he's thinking about me?_

The current situation I'm in is objectionable at best but what really put the icing on the "fuck-your-life" cake was when I discovered that I was gay. 

Now, that may not seem like a very big deal to some people that think " _I'm gay...oh well"_ and just carry on with life but to a middle school freak like me? I was terrified. 

In my mind I already knew that I wasn't going to be accepted in any way, shape, or form but a small part of me was hoping that then he would finally see me. He would finally talk to me and stop acting like I'm a ghost of his past, even if it's through bullying. I could never hate him though. If he decided to physically bully me then I would probably be smiling while he threw a cross hook. 

I know I'm pitiful and no one wants to be in my shoes but for you to really understand me, you need to be there for the beginning. 

This is the story of how we grew up.

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, that was short but this story will come in longggg ass chapters and I probably wont be updating at soon as I'd like but stick with me cause this road is gonna be a long one! :) 
> 
> P.S- That was very terribly written cause I'm kinda in a writers block at the moment! It sucks especially since I just started writing!


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